Words of God

Finally the time has come
When my ears are listening
The words of God, written down
They come to me in the early morning

Fluently I speak God like
On the page the words are dancing
They are moving, taking a hike
Similarly their feet are stomping

The meaning, yes, the real meaning
Is all so enlightening
The truth it speaks, so quietly
If you listen you’ll hear it sing

My life has changed, since I fell down
Now my heart is in harmony
With God’s refrains, rhythmic love sounds
And magical true symphony

Oh the sounds, I’ve longed to hear
My whole life, are now coming through me
I know not how, but there’s no fear
I’m amazed and delightedly happy

Feelings of peace and acceptance
True majestic opportunity
All I need to have is an open stance
To let God in with his vision for me

I accept to live by His command
I agree to be his messenger
And wake up early at three AM
To hear the sounds of laughter

In my head and through my hand
The truth will be aloud spoken
To heal the world and be forgiven
For all the beauty we may have broken

The song God speaks, I hear full well
I’m the drum He taps in the night
I’ll let it happen, let the story He tells
Come through me, come alive

So God I swear to always live
By the rules I hear in my heart
I may fall down, be weak and sick
With you by my side, near or far

Renewed Conviction

From the depth of sadness
Emerged a renewed conviction
Analysis of this mess
Finding the truth deep inside

I reached for humanity’s gentleness
I found even more elation
Commitment to address
Any and all of my pride

Somewhere deep in the shadows
With thoughts of death I frowned
A mystery of sad madness
The trickery of a broken heart

Somehow the pain from the arrows
Subsided and left me with no sound
A man with a white coat harness
Only love can tear you apart

I sat with hope still in me
Found deep an epiphany
I am an amazing man for real
Only he is hidden behind a veil

My newfound goal is to release
This real me stuck inside
I long to feel at peace
With myself and with love and pride

Oh how I wish I’d known
Before what now I know
For she might love me still
If she had met the real me

I reach for God and love
For wisdom too and faith
To beautify this world
Self love: the reward for those who wait

I love you still my love
Always forever indefinitely
It’s not a need but a choice
Don’t need it but still want it

I pray for all to be happy
As I stand upon this earth
With love deep down and through
I’m satisfied with or without you

Happiness is not such a complicated thing
I love myself and am happy with my life
I love you and always will, my love
That’s true as I swear with God as my witness

Apocalypse of the Heart

Life brings about challenges upon challenges
That we must face without worry and fear
But if our hearts were broken in childhood
It can be hard to avoid the spears

Every person with their own eye view
Sometimes unable to peek
Beyond the scope their view affords
That is what I now seek

To be at peace and connected at once
To feel a life that is beyond my own
I reach for God and other fellow men
As life teaches me more is to be found

A day not long ago my heart was broken
Not anyone’s fault, just the fit wasn’t there
From despair to hope to anger and resignation
The feelings flooded and it felt unfair

So today I reached for my muse looking for peace
And some degree of forgiveness
The apocalypse of the heart subsided
I am starting to believe I will be blessed

As I await for a word in return
I pray for quiet peace and kindness
To bring back hope in all of humanity
I’m afraid she is not ready just yet

She has just answered my email saying I am still hurting her every time I contact her. That was not my intent. I’m just hoping some day we can forgive each others. She asked me not to contact her again and I accepted that request by saying I would also stop posting any Facebook comments so she would be able to forget about me a little. I hope some day we can mend our differences and be friends again. Love is so hard to figure out. Maybe men and women are really from different planets.

Worst day of my life

Today Claudia my one true love broke my heart into pieces when she broke up with me. I was still hoping for a miracle. I guess God doesn’t exist afterall. I just want to crawl in a dark place and give up.

I see a light

I see a light at the end of the tunnel
It’s blinding and scary and I want to turn back
But I hear my heart whispering “keep going”
And I listen with naïve abandon and stay on track

The magic of the feeling has never left me
Not for a moment in the two years since I met you
Though I understand not everyone is like me
So I trust you have reasons to be thinking this through

Some friends I have called and they answered so true
Now I know who is real and who I can count on
It’s life, not perfection and I admit I am not without fail
But my heart is in the right place and beating strong

It’s a process, a decision for a lifetime so long
That must be weighed and analyzed for it’s so important
As far as I know, life is all about love and family
So deciding to get married is not something to rush in a moment

Oh Claudia, my love, my everything
Take your time, as long as you need, to be sure you’re ready
Whenever you have decided, I’ll be there awaiting
For the light at the end of the tunnel to arrive my way

You are my light, my everything, always, forever, not matter what

Tumbling Fool

I am about to let go
And to tumble into the unknown
I have set the wheels in motion
To release my love out on its own

Claudia my sweet love
Has broken my spirit
I believed in her fully
Mistakenly trusted bit

I have not slept much
In the past six days
Since I offered her
Two weeks to get unfazed

I cried, got mad and prayed to no end
Only the silence responded to my wails
I have only a little support system
To help me hang in there when all fails

The tumble I can feel coming
Is about to take me down so far
As I stand by the edge I remember
I have been here before the last war

I still hope the answer will be YES
When it comes eventually
But my heart has stopped believing
That she might love me eternally

Prayers to my God whom I believe in
Only when it suits me, I don’t expect
To be revelations and miracles at all
Still I pray and I hope to pass this test

Oh the longing I have felt
The past seventy two hours
Has been unbearable my love
But for you, I took it and want more

Magical Heart

So tall and pretty
Sweet and kind
Lively and funny
Sweetheart of mine

I awkward and quiet
At first glance you see
I struggle to let
Out my inner me

My most wonderful lover
Has got a magical heart
She loves me
With no holding back
Despite all my mistakes
And endless parades
Of excuses so folly
I don’t deserve you but still here you are
Loving me with your magical heart
All I can promise is to love you back

Paying Forward

Last night through the madness
Spoke to my ex’s daughter
She the wise young soul
Way past her years
I, the old man suffering
Trying to find answers
Feeling inadequate
In my pool of tears

Help she was seeking
But instead took care of me
Raised my hopes in tomorrow
Supported me as a friend would do
Thank you Solenne
You have parted the seas
Rekindled my trust
That God would come through

I send my love
Across the land
In the hope you get
The happiness you deserve
This boy you love
Becoming a man
Better wisen up
Or be left by the curb

Again thank you
Young friend of mine
I call upon God
To send you good times
Take from what is owed to me
And if needed from what the future brings
I humbly open my heart
As a friend delivering

The Benefit of the Doubt

You told me once
A long time ago
Expect me to remember
Without another whisper
And in my love
I always give you the benefit of the doubt

I come to you
My hopes all high
Destroyed so fast
But you don’t see
That you have hurt me
And in my love
I always give you the benefit of the doubt

You see I trust you
With my guard down
Only do that with you
Every second
Even after getting hurt
Like a fool not learning
I come back to you
Asking for more hurting
And in my love
I always give you the benefit of the doubt

I don’t understand
Why you want me
So messed up I am
In your opinion
After telling me my faults
You wonder why I don’t propose
We’ll I’m just trying
To put myself back together

And in my love
I always give you the benefit of the doubt
I don’t believe you hurt me on purpose
I still hope like a fool
That if I change enough
You’ll love me more
And change as well

I am pretty confused
Where we are heading
I wish I could tell you
That I am fine
It’d be a lie
I’m far from okay
I’m hurt in a bad way
But you don’t see until I tell you

Someday you may wake up
Wondering where I have gone
The truth my love
Is I’ve been pushed away
Into an abyss
Of despair and pain
I’m just a man
Near the breaking point
Oh how I hope I am wrong
Because despite all evidence to the contrary
I trust in you my life and dreams
All my hopes in the future I place in you
Because in my love
I always give you the benefit of the doubt

Moving Forward

One step at a time
I begin to move forward
Attempting to reach
The God from above

The answers to my questions
Lie here at my feet
As I already know it all
I was born to lead

Troubled I am no longer
I see the truth unfold
Happiness is within reach
All I need is to behold

To be or not to be
Is the only question
Worth asking
And I believe I am

I pray for wisdom
Ask for direction
Act on what is right
And feel free from oppression

Today is the first day
Of the rest of my life
As I move forward
I begin to be happy

Thank you holy spirit for guiding me and enlightening my way forward. I shall live truthfully and be thankful, together in harmony with my fellow travelers and almighty God. Moving forward.